Adoring Slave and I had some great sex the other day and I wanted more. Unfortunately, a fussy, frequently-awaking baby doesn’t make for a great love life, so the opportunity to interact when we were not exhausted had still not presented itself.
And then one night we made the mistake of looking at the On Demand options in our cable package.
It started out as fun.
We noticed the Adult section and decided to check it out. We had a good laugh over the XXX Parodies (Game of Bones, Down On Her Abby, etc) and I boggled over the prices – the adult films, as ridiculous as they looked, cost twice as much as the Oscar winning movie options.
We scrolled through more and more selections, expressing amusement at the fact that the cable company’s idea of “fetish” seemed to simply mean women with big bushes or who were overweight/older, and so on.
But the language was starting to get to me.
“What is with the male obsession with holes?” I asked Adoring Slave after yet another description along the lines of “watch giant cock destroy nasty slut holes”. The word “holes” came up with a frequency which struck me as bizarre. I have never heard the men I was with use the word “holes” in a sexy context. In fact, to me the word “hole” seems distinctly UN sexy.
But in the porn world, apparently holes are where it is at. Women simply seemed to function as hole-providers, and I began to wonder why they didn’t just use doughnuts or drywall instead. In fact, the porn descriptions seemed quite annoyed at the women – they were dirty, nasty sluts whose holes needed to be “slammed” or “destroyed”.
Why was everyone so angry at these women’s orifices?
Maybe because they were so messy. The holes were frequently described as being dripping or oozing or squirting or full cream pie.
All of this made the women sound less like women and more like some kind of kitchen accident.
I tried to imagine finding any of this remotely sexy and failed utterly.
“Men are strange creatures,” I mused.
“What about women?” said Adoring Slave. “Look at this one – giant Thunder-rod slams pink pussy holes. Are thunder rods a turn on?”
“That description is for the men, too,” I said. “Men seem to love imagining their penises as various weapons.”
“Porn is for women, too,” he said.
“While I am sure that there are many women out there who enjoy porn, they are NOT the target audience here,” I said. I’m sure there ARE many women out there who enjoy porn for its own sake. I haven’t met one, though. The women I know who have watched and enjoyed porn did it only with their partner, as a sort of mutual-erotica thing.
Adoring Slave looked like he disagreed but didn’t dare voice it, and kept flipping through titles. All of the women in the films, whether they were MILFs, or GILFs, or BBWs or Barely Legals or Step Daughters (I was surprised by the frequency of step-relative sex. I really don’t get that at all. Why is it sexier if they are related by marriage?) were never anything but slutty orifices.
“I’m getting less and less turned on with every description,” I said.
By the time we turned it off, I felt like I never wanted to have sex again. I don’t want to be seen like that or thought of like that. I know – or at least I hope – that adoring slave sees me as more than a messy concavity, but I can’t help but feel like I want to be as far removed from that as possible.
I think my psyche was better off before I had that little insight into the masculine mind.